Everett Tyler was born at 42 weeks on October 2, weighing 7.5 lbs. & 19.5 inches long. 👶🏻

This is a hard post to write, but here we go.

I labored at home for about 8-10 hours from what i can remember. My contractions were strong & always about 4 mins apart. I was only 2cm dialated. When my water broke there was muconium in it, which means baby had already had a bowel movement, not good.

I couldn’t take it. That worried me and i knew i’d be too exhausted to give birth if this pain pattern kept up.

I went to the hospital.

I had an epidural.

I felt like a failure.

I started having this strong pain directly below my left boob. The epidural wouldn’t touch it. It was intense and only got worse with every contraction that was coming every 1-3 minutes.

After somewhere around 5 hours had passed and I was still stuck at 6cm, being in labor for something close to 24 hours and hearing about having bacterial infections, the main one being Chorioamnionitis and the chance of the infections affecting the baby, I made the decision to not wait any longer and just have a c-section.

I only felt somewhat like a failure now. Mostly I felt at peace because I knew it was for the safety of both my son and myself.

And so, our son was born about 30 short minutes later. I remember hearing him cry and them showing him to Nick and hearing Nick say, “He has your nose!” I can’t remember much else other than having this insane dream while they were stitching me up that felt like i was in the middle of a “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” lyrical- imagery type dream.

I woke up in recovery to my stepdad and Nick holding my hands and talking to me. My baby wasn’t there. He had to be in the NICU, given antibiotics and monitored for infection for 48 hours.

I can’t remember the time but at some point the nursery nurse brought him to me.

My first words: “Oh my gosh look at all his beautiful hair!” He has Nick’s chin and ears but my nose and mouth. We’ll have to wait and see on who’s eyes he has!

We were released from the hospital Thursday evening and went home as a family. My mom stayed with us that night and helped so much with the baby.

Friday around noon I started having chills. I knew I had a fever. The temperature reading was 103. I called my midwife who spoke with a Dr. Seal back at the hospital and said I need to go there immediately. She didn’t want me messing around with my diagnosis.

3:30pm Friday I was readmitted to the hospital. After being poked and prodded, blood drawn from various veins, scraped and swabbed for hours, I was finally given strong antibiotics throug an IV. I wouldn’t be released until my blood pressure was regulated, I hadn’t had a fever in 36 hours and finished multiple rounds of antibiotics.

Seperated from my baby once again. Stuck in an environment that brings me stress and anxiety on top of being in excrutiating pain from having my insides taken out of my body and shoved back in, the weight of it all was tearing me apart.

I didn’t sleep. I barely had time to pump. I missed my new family.

It hurt to cry. Oh, God, it hurt to cry. It hurt to walk, to move, to breathe.

So, today, Monday, a week later, I am finally able to be on the mend at home.

Sounds nice, right? This is undeniably the WORST pain i have ever been through in my entire life. I can’t feed my baby, i can barely hold him because it hurts my stomach, it hurts to get in and out of bed, go to the bathroom, etc.

All i can say is THANK GOD ALMIGHTY for my Mother. This woman is a saint i’m sure of it. She has been with us day and night since i went into labor a week ago. She is as exhausted as me. She has been our housekeeper, food preparer and does so incredibly much to help with the baby since I can’t. Somehow she has still maintained her sanity. I could not do this without her.

Please, please all I need from family and friends right now is the understanding that it may be a while before i’m ready for visitors. We really need your prayers. We’re both having a hard, emotional, time trying to adjust to our new life.

We love you all and are grateful for your calls, texts, concerns and well wishes. 💚

 Here are some cell phone photos since obviously I can’t tote around my big camera! ;)